I can't believe there is a baby growing inside of me. Not just any baby, but a replica of Joel and I and the result of our love for each other and our love for God (it makes me want to cry). I am most amazed with this whole baby thing. A little baby that is growing and growing without much effort on my side, a little life that has started making demands in our life. He will grow no matter what I do or not do. I feel like a mother plant, with a little seed inside of me that has everything he needs from me to just grow and become a human being. As giselita says, the whole pregnancy and baby is so complicated and such a sensitive and perfect system, that it is a real miracle when a healthy baby is born, yet it feels as if, even within that sensitive balanced system, it is such a resilient system that makes life triumph. Seems that life and the push to create more life is such a strong force in nature, that will overcome many a obstacles and almost with no effort at all will triumph and create another generation. I feel like I am merely a player, a peon taking part in nature’s master plan to carry on with life. I say that cause it feels that even if I don’t put a lot of effort into my pregnancy and go on with life as usual, the baby will grow and will ask for what he needs. I don’t have to remember to eat, cause my body gets hungry, I don’t have to remember to sleep, as my body will just shut down when it needs to or when I am reaching my limits. If I just go on with life as normal, with no additional effort it feels like the baby will grow whether I like it or not. Of course I want the best for my baby, so I try to eat well, to rest a lot , to not get too excited, but in the end I think those things are more for my benefit than the baby’s. Life will triumph!
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