On another note, I have been feeling the full weight of my sin lately. Joel, probably for the first time 'wounded me in love'. He reflected to me the consequences of my sin, and he called it for what it was. It hurt so much, I felt exposed and full of guilt. I feel like I have been excusing my sin with my woundedness. But he called me on it and said it had to stop. It felt like a piercing knife through my heart. Exposed, with nothing to say, cause i know its true. He was very kind but firm. That is probably the most loving thing he has done for me. I weights so much on me that I hurt Joel. I know for a fact that I can't change on my own, that i need God. I need God's mercy to save me from myself.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I SAW THE LINE - 15 weeks prego
On another note, I have been feeling the full weight of my sin lately. Joel, probably for the first time 'wounded me in love'. He reflected to me the consequences of my sin, and he called it for what it was. It hurt so much, I felt exposed and full of guilt. I feel like I have been excusing my sin with my woundedness. But he called me on it and said it had to stop. It felt like a piercing knife through my heart. Exposed, with nothing to say, cause i know its true. He was very kind but firm. That is probably the most loving thing he has done for me. I weights so much on me that I hurt Joel. I know for a fact that I can't change on my own, that i need God. I need God's mercy to save me from myself.
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