end of eight month

I am in the last week of the eight month and things are getting a little unconfortable. It is hard to sit for an extended period of time. Something seems to always be poking my right lung. But overall I feel great. I do get tired if I am on my feet for too long, but a little rest here and there gets me throught the day. It has been nice to be on vacation and get the house ready for the baby. I don't feel in a hurry to have the baby here, I wouldn't mind if he is a little late to give me more time, but who knows how I will feel during the last month. Hehehe.

Nesting

I have been on vacation since Christmas, nesting. Had to rearrenge most of the house to make space for little shrimp. A lot of work, but we are almost there. Had to completely move our favorite room in the house, computer/drawing/music room to make it into the new baby room. Made the old guest/storage room the new music/guest/craft room, while moved the computer into our master bedroom. Had to reorganize all the closets in the house and had to get rid of tons of things we no longer need. It is a work in progress. Here are some before and in progress pics

Third trimester coming: Bring it on! - 27 weeks

My little baby shrimp, how much I love you already. I think I was made to be pregnant. Iam absolutely loving being pregnant! It is such an amazing thing, nothing compares to it. God was good when he designed it this way. We have such a priviledge to feel step by step a life forming deep inside of me. Feeling the baby move has proven to be the most interesting joyful experience ever. I can’t explain how I feel when I feel this little bambino tumbling and rolling around inside my belly. It is so much fun to just sit and wait and think about what he might be doing in there to create such a commotion. He rolls, he tumbles, he pushes. Feels like little butterflies, sometimes, other times stronger moves that make for a bumpy looking stomach. Something alive in my stomach is making his little mark in my heart and the world already, or so it feels. I am learning to love my body more and more, my pregnant body that is. Baby Belly looks so cute, I like wearing tight shirts that reveal the roundness of my belly. It is most fun to go out to the grocery store or wherever just in a daze, walking slow, looking at things, just enjoying life. It seems like Iam rarely on a big rush anymore. I don’t know why but it feels as if I have the time to “stop and smell the roses”. Also I think my hormones have flattened out, that it is not as easy to get me worked up about little thing that I used to get worked up about. Like I said, I am loving this pregnancy. I know the third trimester is almost on top and with it it brings many more disconforts, but I don’t care, I am ready, it has been all worthed : Bring it on!

23 weeks - Life will TRIUMPH

I can't believe there is a baby growing inside of me. Not just any baby, but a replica of Joel and I and the result of our love for each other and our love for God (it makes me want to cry). I am most amazed with this whole baby thing. A little baby that is growing and growing without much effort on my side, a little life that has started making demands in our life. He will grow no matter what I do or not do. I feel like a mother plant, with a little seed inside of me that has everything he needs from me to just grow and become a human being. As giselita says, the whole pregnancy and baby is so complicated and such a sensitive and perfect system, that it is a real miracle when a healthy baby is born, yet it feels as if, even within that sensitive balanced system, it is such a resilient system that makes life triumph. Seems that life and the push to create more life is such a strong force in nature, that will overcome many a obstacles and almost with no effort at all will triumph and create another generation. I feel like I am merely a player, a peon taking part in nature’s master plan to carry on with life. I say that cause it feels that even if I don’t put a lot of effort into my pregnancy and go on with life as usual, the baby will grow and will ask for what he needs. I don’t have to remember to eat, cause my body gets hungry, I don’t have to remember to sleep, as my body will just shut down when it needs to or when I am reaching my limits. If I just go on with life as normal, with no additional effort it feels like the baby will grow whether I like it or not. Of course I want the best for my baby, so I try to eat well, to rest a lot , to not get too excited, but in the end I think those things are more for my benefit than the baby’s. Life will triumph!

20 Weeks sonogram - HE IS ALIVE

Good bye nausea, welcome heart burn. I am now half way done and we had a sonogram yesterday, our only chance to find out the baby's sex, but we opted to keep it a secret.... For now it is a 'he' or a "baby shrimp" (he looked like a little shrimp on the first sonogram). Everything is well and healthy with the baby. We were able to see all his organs (I don't how they can tell, but they showed us different shaded spots and said that it was this and that, for all we know they could have been lying to us :-) ) The most amazing thing was that the baby kept moving around ! We saw him in action! HE IS ALIVE! he had his cute little feet crossed and at one point he did a little cat strech movement, streching his arms and legs. He is so cute and not so little anymore. The pics really don't do any justice to the baby, but I will post it as soon as we get a new scanner (old one is not working anymore). He really was cute, he kept turning his head, I must say it looks pretty cramped in there, poor guy, and its only going to get more crowded as he grows. I am so excited to feel him move, I can't imagine what it must feel like. I AM SO EXCITED, HE IS SO CUTE (I totally looks like his daddy of course). I Love him already.

18 weeks and counting

Almost half way done baking the baby in my uterine oven. Belly is starting to look bigger, but I am still waiting for that jolt of energy promised for the second trimester. As a matter of fact I am still feeling nauseous some days and don't have much of an appetite. Oh well, I guess i can't do anything else but wait. What I have noticed is that this is probably the first time I remember that I don't feel so self conscious of my body as I usually do when I am getting dressed. The fact that some clothes don't fit me anymore makes me feel excited at the proof that I have a life growing inside me. I don't mind wearing the so long dreaded fitting shirts anymore, instead I now wear them with pride, even though it looks to me that i more look fat then pregnant :-). My belly at 18 weeks pregnant looks and feels very much like my old belly when I was at my highest weight a few years ago.
Oh yeah, almost forgot, I did go to the doc's last week and my sugar was normal (so no gestational diabetes). Got to hear the anticipated healthy 140 heartbeat. Couldn't tape it anymore cause my pda is broken :-) beware those with a Mogul, the screen sensor seems to be fragile. Make sure you keep the shipping receipt as the warranty covers it for one year, with proof.

Baby's heartbeat at 15 weeks

Appt to the doc Wed went just fine. I was worried for nothing. Baby is doing good. Got to hear the heartbeat. At the doctor, I waited a long time before the doctor come in and then it was really short and quick. I did get a little extra time b/c she had to remove a cervical polyp. It hurt a little, then and afterwards but it feels better now. ALso, when they tested my glucose with a one of those little sticks, it was very high. I think it was just b/c I had just finished a bagel with cream chessee with lots of jam. Either way, they want to test again, before they do a more in depth testing to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. I go in, in two weeks. Here is the baby's heartbeat. It was so nice to hear the baby, I got teary and almost lost it, which has been happening a lot lately.

I SAW THE LINE - 15 weeks prego

I saw the 'linea negra' YEAY. Iam 15 weeks pregnant now. The nausea is a lot better during the day, but it is still hitting hard in the evenings, which makes it hard to eat. My appetite is very poor, which worries me a bit, but nothing I can do about that. Iam going to see the doc in a couple hrs, Iam really looking forward hearing the heartbeat and finding out if everything is normal. I can't deny that the last few days I've been getting worried some. It is still not second nature to really trust that God can take care of the baby and that my life is on his hands, that my story and that of my children have already been written.
On another note, I have been feeling the full weight of my sin lately. Joel, probably for the first time 'wounded me in love'. He reflected to me the consequences of my sin, and he called it for what it was. It hurt so much, I felt exposed and full of guilt. I feel like I have been excusing my sin with my woundedness. But he called me on it and said it had to stop. It felt like a piercing knife through my heart. Exposed, with nothing to say, cause i know its true. He was very kind but firm. That is probably the most loving thing he has done for me. I weights so much on me that I hurt Joel. I know for a fact that I can't change on my own, that i need God. I need God's mercy to save me from myself.

Finally 13 weeks pregnant

Finally 13 weeks pregnant, but I am still feeling sick to my stomach. Eating during the day has become easier, but the nausea hasn't ease up at night. Today I thought was the first day of no nausea. I started with a glass of milk with a chai tea mix. Then some blueberries with yogurt, followed by 4 sticks of Twizzlers. I had an early lunch of spaghetti with meatballs leftovers followed by fresh cherries. Then I munched on a handfull of pistachio nuts accompanied by a another handful of peanuts. Then a handful of peanut M&Ms. Someone brought some sourdough pretzels and I had a few of those. At last for my afternoon snack I had a green apple with some cottage cheesse. All that before dinner. This was definately better than before, as before I couldn't stand the sight or smell of chocolate. Probably the reason I wasn't sick and was able to eat was cause I always had something in my stomach, because by dinner time I was feeling so sick that it was hard to eat again. Its definately getting better but it looks liek I still have a few more days or weeks to go. One thing Iam learning is that when I am feeling sick is not the best time to try to talk about important sensitive stuff. Oh well, i guess I am a slow learner.

On the good side of pregnancy I am not feeling as tired anymore, at least not everyday, more like everyother day :-)

On another note, my little sister is coming to visit this weekend, and will be here till the 17th. I am really excited to see her. I don't get to just hang out with her alone too often, as when I go visit to VA my other sisters are also around. I don't want to miss who she is becoming as she grows into a beautiful young lady. I am excited to find out more about her.

Looking forward to no sickness, liking food again, and more energy.

56 postovulatory days (about 10weeks)

I feel useless, can barely handle a task at a time. Still having trouble just resting. Always feeling sick and tired. It feels like it will never get better. I asked Joel if I've always been this way. He said no way (thank God). But what can I expect, I am, after all, making a new human being that bears God's image and has a little bit of Joel and me in him too. That has to be enough for now. Trying to rest on the gifts God is putting front of me, and the hope that this will end soon. My baby has made it this long now, 10 weeks, a week and a half longer than last time. The pain of the lost baby doesn't seem as sharp anymore, still sad, but not as sharp. God follows through with his promises, even some that we are not aware of yet. I feel like I am in the middle of a passageway looking into the open future with hope and excitement. A new chapter of my life is starting and it feels like God is leading the way.

About Carnegie Stage 23 Most embryos at stage 23 are approximately 56-57 postovulatory days old and measure 23-32 mm in length. Distinguishing criteria for this stage include fusion of the eyelids at the medial and lateral margins, clear distinction of the subdivisions of the upper and lower limbs, the forearms appear at or above the level of the shoulders, the superficial vascular plexus of the head is very close to the vertex, and the external genitalia are well developed but not always sufficiently to distinguish the embryo's sex.

44 Postovulatory day

Finally starting to look like a baby! May be thats why the nausea has been getting worse. I can hardly think when I feel sick which is most of the morning and then eases up at miday to start again early afternoon until I go to bed. My hormones have been playing tricks on me. The sickness and the hormones keep me on edge most of the day. I feel like I should be happy because I m making a baby for Joel and I, but instaed I feel sad. The hormones amplify the pain I feel from the consequences of my sin and other people's sin. It feels like an invitation to seek God's face and hang on it, hang on to it for dear life.

Most embryos at stage 18 are approximately 44 postovulatory days old and measure 13-17 mm in length. Distinguishing criteria for this stage include cervical and lumbar flexures, distinct notching in the hand plate, the first appearance of the elbow, eyelid folds may appear in more advanced specimens, and auricular hillocks begin to form distinct parts of the external ear.

Almost 8 weeks Pregnant

Is he ever going to stop looking like a little shrimp? i hope so. I am still having nausea almost all day long. I am craving mostly fresh fruits and fresh vegetables. The thought of eating anything else grosses me out, especially protein, but I make myself eat some anyways. Going to see the doctor for the first time this coming up Tuesday. Looking forward to it.

About Carnegie Stage 17Most embryos at stage 17 are approximately 41 postovulatory days old and measure 11-14 mm in length. Distinguishing criteria for this stage include distinct digital rays in the hand plate, a rounded digital plate in the foot, a complete complement of hillocks on the mandibular and hyoid arches, distinct nasofrontal grooves, and a slight indication of a lumbar curvature.

6 weeks pregnant

I have been feeling very pregnant the last few days. That is I have been feeling sick all day long. Strong smells make me want to throw up, including my husband's deodorant and cooked brocolli. Coffee and chocolate I can smell a mile away and I will do anything to avoid being near them, especially burned coffee. Yuck!. Did I mention that my hair is falling out? yeah, by the handfulls. Oh well, I heard it regrows (cross my fingers)



Most embryos at stage 15 are approximately 33 postovulatory days old and measure 7-9 mm in length. Distinguishing criteria for this stage include the appearance of nasal pits and hand plates. The lens vesicles are closed.

5 weeks pregnant

Despite all my fears of losing my baby, I am now 5 weeks pregnant (LMP). The past 3 days I have had the honor of experiencing that awful feeling of nausea. Feeling like I want to throw up, but not quite, sometimes so intense that I can't concentrate on anything else but how sick I feel. Tiredness is also taking a toll, I don't understand why, since the baby is merely the size of a sesame seed, how much energy does he really need? I've noticed that no matter how much sleep I get (and I've been getting at least 9 hrs the last few days) I will not be able to stay up right after lunch. Yesterday, sitting at my computer station at work, my coworker sitting next to me, and I was dozing off. That hasn't happened since I used to take naps in my office in the afternoons a few years ago. I might need to go back to that. Oh well, most of my coworkers don't know I am pregnant yet.

Most embryos at stage 13 are approximately 28 postovulatory days old and measure 4-6 mm in length. Distinguishing criteria for this stage include the presence of all four limb buds and a closed otic vesicle. The lens disc is generally not yet indented. The specimen depicted here is most likely a late stage 13 embryo

Pregnancy Blood confirmation

Yep, its official now. Blood test came back positive for pregnancy. About 4 to 5 weeks they say. Luckily I don't have a lot of the symptoms yet, at least the ones I have are very mild. Am I really pregnant? its hard to believe.... or am I just afraid to hope and rejoice. We, Joel and I decided we were not going to tell people until at least we knew things were progressing without any problems. But I guess I used the term 'people' loosely. Of course ' people' does not include our families, and a couple days later, 'people' did not include my boss and my teamlead, my roomate, my friends, my old roommate, my neighbors or the wifes of the guys Joel plays basketball with. A friend told me today, that not telling people for me meant that the people at Safeway did not know about it.... I guess she is right. The poeple at Safeway don't know about it cause I don't go to Safeway that often. Hehehe.

Pregnant

So it looks like I might be pregnant. This past weekend I tested positive twice with the Pregnancy sticks. I will post a pic. I did get my blood drawn yesterday to verify and make sure everything is in order. So I will know for sure in a coulple of days. A lot of people are praying for us and the baby, it feels comforting to know that the baby and I are sitting in God's lap, being conforted and taken care of by him. I can't deny that there is still a hint of pain, remembering my last baby. Patti says that my not a single page of my story and that of my children will be dropped or missed by God.