I SAW THE LINE - 15 weeks prego

I saw the 'linea negra' YEAY. Iam 15 weeks pregnant now. The nausea is a lot better during the day, but it is still hitting hard in the evenings, which makes it hard to eat. My appetite is very poor, which worries me a bit, but nothing I can do about that. Iam going to see the doc in a couple hrs, Iam really looking forward hearing the heartbeat and finding out if everything is normal. I can't deny that the last few days I've been getting worried some. It is still not second nature to really trust that God can take care of the baby and that my life is on his hands, that my story and that of my children have already been written.
On another note, I have been feeling the full weight of my sin lately. Joel, probably for the first time 'wounded me in love'. He reflected to me the consequences of my sin, and he called it for what it was. It hurt so much, I felt exposed and full of guilt. I feel like I have been excusing my sin with my woundedness. But he called me on it and said it had to stop. It felt like a piercing knife through my heart. Exposed, with nothing to say, cause i know its true. He was very kind but firm. That is probably the most loving thing he has done for me. I weights so much on me that I hurt Joel. I know for a fact that I can't change on my own, that i need God. I need God's mercy to save me from myself.